


Our Deep Link

by graylubitches



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Drama & Romance, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, conflicted feelings, fight, mentions of binwoo and rockjin, pastlovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 09:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9999962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graylubitches/pseuds/graylubitches
Summary: Both ASTRO members, Moon Bin and Rocky, enters a slump, and although a normal person would love to hear flowery words of advice from their supposedly-favourite members, that's not truly what they needed.What they needed was the harsh truth and maybe...a nice swing to the face.





	

Chapter I - Honest Feelings

♦ - _Moon Bin_ - ♦

"Moon Bin, are you joking right now? How many times have I told you to stop straining your voice? Use your head voice for this note," our vocal trainer, Lee Joomin, scolded me again.

My throat was beginning to clog up and the strained sound that instantly comes out from my mouth simply by uttering a word (any word) only built the course of the lingering tension to float above air. He has been teaching me several vocal techniques for over an hour, and I all I wanted to do was choke up in embarrassment because of how long I've been failing to hit the correct notes; plus, the need to faint was increasingly high from the overloaded exhaustion - _strangle me now_.

The notes were too high. Even when I recorded the song, the song producers had to continuously edit and cut out my parts because I couldn't sing a whole ten second line perfectly.

I was running out of energy.

Sweat was sliding down my chin as I tried to gently massage my sore throat. We started from the top where I let out a short cry when my voice cracked again and an enormous pain came traveling and pounding its way from my chest all the way to my trachea. _How much longer do I have to do this?_

* * *

"Moon Bin, are you okay?" I looked over my shoulder to see Eunwoo with a worried look. My one-on-one session has finally ended with an annoyed expression from our vocal trainer before he walked out of the practice room in disatisfaction.

Cha Eunwoo is my best friend. He's a year older but my birthday is close enough to consider myself as a late 1997 liner. Out of all the members, he is the most I am closest to because One: we room together, Two: our small difference in age made it able for me to talk to him about personal things only I can tell him, and Three: he is always there for me. The incredible friend who would help to ease all my troubles away.

He was offering me a bottle of water which I gratefully took. "Y-yeah. I'll be-" I cleared my inflamed throat, "fine for tomorrow." He shot me a kind smile that I returned.

 _He looks the best while smiling_. I thought cheekily.

~

"What was that, Moon Bin?" Well, time to get f!cked. "That was not what we practiced yesterday. You totally blew that high note on a live performance of all things! Everyone else can go straight home, but you, you are going to the studio to practice! Until you send me a video of you hitting those notes perfectly, you are not allowed to leave the room and rest. Do you understand?"

I hid my clenched fists inside the pockets of my sweater before nodding in response.

Eunwoo spared me a glance with a sad look. He looked hesitant to leave me by myself, so I grabbed his hand in assurance and told him, "It's okay. Go rest up."

One by one, the members hopped into the van, leaving me to ride in a different vehicle. Once the car was no longer in sight, I could feel my lips tremble at the thought of being alone on such a cold night.

However, it didn't even take a minute when I felt my phone vibrate from my jeans pocket and when I went to check the new notified message, I couldn't help the grin that immediately appeared across my face at seeing the screen light up the name: "Cha Eunwoo."

Binnie-ah, stay strong :)

* * *

As I arrived at the studio, I immediately got to work by turning on the wireless microphone and cranking up the volume of the sound system. I opened my mouth to sing. I sang and sang- well, _more like_ , screamed and screamed.

I used to enjoy singing so much. It was my passion. Yet, singing now only made my feel insecure. _Why did it have to be like this?_

My voice cracked for the twelfth time in just those three hours of practice alone when I finally slid down on the floor in defeat. The camera was still recording, but that fact was forgotten as I felt my eyes water and blur. It's been awhile since I cried nor felt so down. I sobbed alone in that empty and lonely room. _I'm hopeless!_

~

I came home at around 5 o'clock in the morning (practicing for five hours straight). In the end, I still couldn't hit the notes and after sending twenty videos which were all rejected, Coach got tired of my failures and eventually let me go. I quietly entered my shared room with Eunwoo, and as expected, everyone (including him) had already fallen asleep. I could not blame any of them since our schedules have been packed recently, especially, Face Genius Cha Eunwoo. I collapsed on the upper bunk, and if it weren't for the already dried and spilled tears from earlier, I would probably still be crying. But no more tears could fall. Only sleepiness and fatigue came over me as I finally got my deserved rest.

"Welcome back, Binnie," a soft mutter came from the bottom bunk and surprisingly, I slept with a grin on my face despite the rough day.

♦ - _Rocky_ - ♦

'Is it just me or has Minhyuk been reusing his choreography lately?'

'Yeah, didn't he do that move in Weekly Idol?'

'Actually, he did it at ASC first.'

'Lol he should let the other members or professional dancers do their choreographies now. His style is getting old.'

'Hope XForce's Joonhyung takes back charge for Astro's comeback.'

I scrolled down the screen and frowned at the posted comments under one of my new dance videos. I couldn't blame them for thinking that way. Recently, it has gotten harder to create new dance steps. The pressure...the high expectations...It's all about showing the public something new and satisfying them. Along the way, it just stopped being about what I wanted. What I enjoyed.

"Rocky, why are you still awake?" a voice suddenly called out.

I instantly shot up from the living room couch then looked away from my laptop to see a wet-haired Jinjin leaning against the wall of a small entrance hallway. He had just gotten out of the bathroom, being that he was the last member to shower, and had a towel draped around his shoulders.

"Just checking our sns with Arohas," I simply lied.

He gave me a short not before walking over to sit on a bean bag placed on the other side of the room. I had been sleeping in the living room for nearly three weeks now due to the hot weather and I refused to bother the other members with my constant fidgeting from the top bunk. 

"By the way," Jinjin started to mumble, "Joonhyung came to me earlier and asked if you have the time to choreograph our new song. He said he's free but if you wanted to take charge then-"

"I'll think about it." I cut him off as I hurriedly closed my laptop screen, placed it on top of the centre table before lying on my side with my back facing our leader.

Silence envelopped the room at the unexpected rigid atmosphere.

Eventually though, Jinjin interrupted by saying, "If something's bothering you, you know you can tell me, right?"

I didn't move nor respond. I didn't want to talk about it. It was a habit. Keeping everything to myself because I didn't want to burden others by my problems.

"Minhyuk-ah, look at me." A hand gently touched my back that made my chest tighten and cheeks to redden.

I hesitated at first. Rolled over to face him where I saw the most sad look this 1996 liner hyung could muster at the moment. "I," I licked my dry lips before continuing, "I think I hit a block."

Jinjin brought his hand to my head next and ruffled it with affection. "What kind of block?" he asked.

"Dance block." I frowned. "I don't know what else to show to the fans and everyone else."

He hummed with the consitent pace of his hair-petting. "That is a block. But if you were thinking about giving up the chance to choreograph our new dance to Joonhyung, then I'm telling you right now to not do it. I know how much you love dancing and how talented you are. You'll do fine. I believe in you. Always."

I finally smiled for the first time ever since this recent dilemma of mine began. His kind advice always made me feel better.

I was not a man of words and no matter how much I wanted to express my gratitude then, I was tongue-tied. Although, I did summon a "thanks" to which he hummed to.

My eyes had closed and I was already on my way to dreamland to know for certain the exact time Jinjin had gotten up from the floor to head to his room. All I know was that the last scent I smelled before I passed out was the odour of his favourite shampoo.

 _Tomorrow, I'll have an idea for sure_. I thought wishfully.

♦ - _Third Person's Point Of View_ - ♦

The day came where Rocky finally built the courage to create Astro's new choreography. However, it was sadly not going well as the members came into dispute regarding his ideas. "That doesn't look right," Moon Bin commented. Again. Well, MJ only commented once, but Moon Bin has been criticizing him for nearly an hour and it was honestly getting on his nerves. "You did not do that move before. It was supposed to be the turn," Moon Bin continued.

With an expected sigh, Jinjin halted practice for a ten minute break, which Rocky spent by going to the bathroom to secretly wipe the tears that threatened to fall a few minutes before with his white, long-sleeve. Moon Bin on the other hand tried drinking lemon water with honey to cleanse his throat that had inflammed throughout the night, but so far, the result was not efficient.

Jinjin, as the leader, suggested that they try out one rehearsal live with the camera recorder on once break time had passed.

Unfortunately, it looked like it was Moon Bin's turn to be embarrassed as his voice consistently cracked throughout the song, so everyone had to keep re-doing the whole song from the beginning. By the eight failed time, the lead vocalist eventually let out a grunt, threw his hat on the floor and stomped out of the practice room in anger.

"I give up!"

As if it was on reflex, Rocky had shot up onto his feet and ran after him. "Ya, shitty Moon Bin, get your ass back in the practice room! I'm not finished teaching the choreography yet."

Eunwoo tried following them in worry but, Jinjin stopped him by saying, " Let them work it out by themselves."

Reluctantly, the visual member nodded with an evident frown on his face.

~

Moon Bin turned around with an angry look and spat, "What did you say? How dare you talk to me like that?"

"I said, stop being so shitty and do what you have to do. You're ruining the team's dynamics."

"I'm ruining the team's dynamics!? When there's you who can't even remember your own steps!?"

"At least I'm still doing it! You walked out like an idiot!"

He grabbed Rocky by the shoulder and pushed him against the wall. "Since when did you have the nerve to speak to someone older than you like that, huh?"

"Are you kidding me? How can I respect someone who half-asses things and always wants to give up? You're tired? Well, so are we. But do you hear anyone complaining about it? Even Sanha who's the youngest haven't said anything."

"Shut up! It's not like you were the one who was forced to practice for five hours straight yesterday?"

"Yeah, because you couldn't hit those notes that long. Is that how it is now, Moon Bin? Your skills have regressed. Need me to comfort you with a teddy bear to make you feel better?"

"What about you? Did you think I didn't notice how uncreative your dances have been recently? That you've lost inspiration and is pushing yourself to continue because everyone thinks you're some little dance genius? Should we watch 'Miracle Cell no.7' again so you can make up an excuse of how much you cried in the bathroom?"

"I didn't cry-"

"Yeah, and I'll pretend the edge of your right sleeve isn't wet. Cut the crap. You're scolding me for getting into a slump while you should be more worried about yourself, hypocrite."

It went too quick for Moon Bin to react as Rocky made a swing at his face the minute his words left his mouth. 

"Are you back to your arrogant self again, Moon Bin!? I thought Eunwoo was being a good influence on you, but I guess even he can't cleanse your temper."

Moon Bin had stumbled back in surprise and hesitantly touched his bleeding lip. He shot the younger man a dirty look before pouncing back. The two shared swings and before they know it, they were bleeding and panting hard on the ground.

It was the scratchy voice of reply from Moon Bin that made them lie still with Rocky underneath as they glared at each other. "What about you? Is Jinjin giving you special services when it's only the two of you? Everyone knows he has a soft spot for you. Taking advantage of it?"

"Not like you don't take advantage of Eunwoo. He's nice right? Telling you all the things you want to here like, 'Moon Bin, you're so good. You have such a beautiful voice. Are you okay? Just know that I'm here.' All the things I couldn't say to you. Admit it, you like him because he's the complete opposite of me. Did I break your heart that bad?"

"Don't start making assumptions. Breaking up with you was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Is that why you only show me the real you? Afraid Eunwoo will come to dislike you once he finds out how incredibly short-tempered and violent you actually are?"

"What about you? Afraid Sanha will be Jinjin's favourite once he finds out that you're not actually a genius or anything close to perfect? That you've messed up your own choreography for 'Moving Mountains' fifty times before you actually filmed a pretty decent one? That you lied saying it only took half an hour to film?"

Rocky furiously pushed Moon Bin off of him and stood up only to stumble against the wall for support (feeling a stab of pain circuit to his left ankle). "Well, you're done for it now. You gave up on rapping and now you're giving up on singing too? Just quit."

"You quit! MJ is a better singer than you and Jinjin is a better rapper. What can you offer to the team when you can barely dance the same anymore?"

Rocky rolled his eyes (ignoring his throbbing foot). "Putting this all on me again? Just like that time you promised to sneak out with me three years ago during our trainee days? You couldn't come up with a lie to tell our manager, and told him it was solely my idea to escape that got me punished for a month. Stop blaming me for everything you can't do!"

"I practiced for five hours! Lost my voice! And got my video rejected exactly twenty-eight times. I can't even reach the high notes I used to be able to do. Do you think I want to ruin our team?"

"Yes! All you do is go head-strong and think everything will work out with determination alone. Have you ever thought of actually caring for your throat? Taking it easy and learning properly the techniques? You sing and sing and sing and it's all useless because you're not paying attention to them. All you think about is if it's wrong then it's wrong, you don't try to analyze it...to learn from it. Stop thinking everything will be solved in mere seconds. It takes time and practice."

"How about you? You practice all the time but you're now in a slump like me. You always try to do things on your own. Why don't you seriously learn from others for once and gain experience? Joonhyung is an amazing dancer, but because you get praised for your own moves, you don't actually think of the him and the other dancers as anything, do you? You've always been insensitive."

"If I was insensitive, I would've told you that I was done with you over the phone and not in person," the younger man hissed. 

"No, if you weren't insensitive, you shouldn't have done it in the first place just because you thought you wouldn't have been able to give me your time. You shouldn't have done it when Eunwoo came into the picture."

"If I didn't, you would've always felt disappointed when I couldn't come home in time for dinner. You would've waited late at night until I got back from practice or left you to eat alone. But you weren't. Eunwoo was there to accompany you."

At this statement, Moon Bin reacted by taking one step towards Rocky to spat, "Exactly. Eunwoo was there. Always have been there even during the times I was thinking of you. It took you three months to finally look at me."

"Three months of Eunwoo pampering you."

"Three months of waiting for you."

"Three months was all I needed to know you deserved someone else."

"You didn't even give me a choice."

"It would have been unfair if I did. Because even to this day, I don't know how to properly take care of you."

The two were left breathless at the amount of words they voiced out. And unknowingly into their dispute, they couldn't have noticed the tears falling from their eyes. They stared at one another with rapidly beating hearts before quickly looking the other away.

*I've always hated seeing him cry,* both just naturally thought.

A short silence lingered in the air.

It was broken by Rocky who could only sigh and say, "Go back to the dorm and do whatever it is you want to do then. I'm cancelling the session and putting Joonhyung in charge of the new choreography. If you don't want to follow my dance, at least go to his so we can have a comeback already."

Without another word, the two walked off into their seperate directions, attempting to act casual and make it seem like the earlier event didn't happen at all.

~

At the precise moment Rocky stepped back into the practice room, all of the members rushed to him in worry asking, "What happened?", "Why are you bleeding?"  , "Why are you limping?"

and when Eunwoo in particular had asked, "Where's Moon Bin?"

As if he was waiting exactly for that question,

...he didn't miss the beat to reply, "Back at our dorm. Go follow him."

He let him go; again.

Maybe this time, he can finally move on.

But obviously, that's bullshit talking.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> It has been a while since I last wrote a fanfic. I've gotten recently obsessed with ASTRO and it has reached the point where I keep going back to refresh their tags to check for news and story updates. My otp though is "Moonrock" / "Rockbin" and I want to sulk at the little amount of written stories there are about them. So after much frustration, I decided to write my own story =)
> 
> Extra note: This story came to be when someone asked me, "What is Moon Bin and Rocky to you?"
> 
> And I thought about it before replying, "past lovers." Now the reason I said this was because they'd casually say something like "since I know everything about Moon Bin, I'm going to choose MJ" +  "I've been together with Rocky the longest. For a very long time but we haven't really done much together recently." This gave me the vision of 'yes, they're really close because they were pretty much together 24/7 during their trainee days' but because of that, they couldn't really expand their social group nor find other things they might be interested in. I always feel like they are rarely together because they know each other so well, which includes knowing their weaknesses and embarrassing moments respectively. Therefore, being with other people who may see them differently and who makes them feel good is what they're currently attached to. But because they want to connect to someone close to their own age, (like Rocky saying he wants to befriend a '99 liner: I've seen him and Dino have moments; and Moon Bin with Eunwoo - he's an early '98 so someone in their '97 line can be considered a 'chingu'), they hang out with people who they think would be perfect to embracing their newly created selves (built from new experiences), where their truths are full of flowery words (simply because same-age friends are expected to "click"). I feel like Moon Bin and Rocky share some similarities but are bound to bump heads (it should happen and will happen since they've known each other when they were really young). There's that inevitably immature-feel that lingers in the air when they are together. So if ever Moon Bin wants a harsh and honest answer who wouldn't pull their stabs, he would go to Rocky and vice versa. They have this deep link that is only ever accessible when one is at his very lowest and I find that very beautiful. 
> 
> Anyway, so that's what I wanted to portray with this short-story. I did hinted at that they were "actual past lovers" just because this is a fanfic and it would be easier to comprehend their emotions towards each other that way, but I'm not saying that they are "past lovers" in the real world. Honestly, we don't know. They could, but who knows, except for them :P
> 
> Thank you for reading and I make it my goal to write another BinHyuk/MoonRock/RockBin fanfic because they're my otp! Recommend me some good ones where they're the main and I'll check them out. Have a great day, Arohas!


End file.
